The 5 Stages of Spread Goodness Day When You’re Kind of a Cynic
By Sam Centerbar
STAGE 1: So you’re not really a cynic, just skeptical, and rightly so, I mean- the world’s full of liars and cheaters, right? Except for you, of course- you’ve got integrity…you just kinda stay to yourself is all…A wise choice considering…I mean, shouldn’t you spread goodness every day anyway?
STAGE 2: Even if you wanted to celebrate Spread Goodness Day (which you don’t)- where would you even start? You don’t want to do it wrong and look stupid. Hmph. This whole charade is probably all just a ploy for pointless narcissism. It’d have to be, right? People just want to brag to others about how great they are…there’s no way they could genuinely be trying to make the world better…could they?
STAGE 3: Okay, so maybe it would be kind of nice to spread goodness with the community. Not for your own self-interest, of course. For others. You’re an altruist at heart, you just keep it on the down low…Of course you could do something nice for someone anonymously… Now you just have to think about what…and who…whom?...(let’s not think about grammar right now)
STAGE 4: Shoot, you really are spending a lot of time thinking about this. It’s bugging you now. Why is that? Stupid, really, but now you can’t get it out of your head…you keep hearing “Spread Goodness Day” everywhere. Why do people like spreading goodness so much!? What do they get out of it? JOY? ENERGY? REALLY? Oh. Wow. I guess that’s true.
STAGE 5: Aw jeez, you say… “What the heck?” But if you’re gonna do it, you’re gonna bring your buddy along! Okay, get in loser! LET’S GO! WE’RE SPREADING GOODNESS AND CHANGING THE WORLD TOGETHER”... (you’re not a loser. It’s from a movie, silly.)
